Thoughts On Returning Back To ‘Precedented’ Times
As I type this, it is 1:00 pm on a Saturday, just over 24 hours after receiving the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine. The lymph nodes on my neck feel slightly sore, the way they do before a mild cold, and my upper arm is tender. A tiny price to pay for the hope that this shot brings to the horizon. The hope of hugging friends and family without a mask. The hope of traveling to new places and countries, dancing at crowded concerts, and bonding with strangers on a night out. The hope of returning to the good old ‘precedented times.’
While I, along with the majority of people, are bursting with joy at the idea of a pandemic-free world, I also carry with me another feeling. A small but consistent feeling of uneasiness. The fear that all of the lessons, growth, and compassion gained from these painful times will disappear along with the virus.
The Parable Of The Boiling Frog
In conversation with Mr. Patton, an incredible teacher Sarah and I had in high school (who spoke more on this concept in this podcast episode!), he compared the parable of the boiling frog to that of our response to the pandemic. To put this concept simply: if you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it is enough of a shock to their system to cause them to leap out of the pot unscathed. On the other hand, frogs put in warm water that gradually turns hot will inevitably die, not recognizing the impending danger. And it turns out that humans aren’t all too different from frogs in our reactions.
When something as shocking as a global pandemic hit our system, we acted fast to save ourselves. When COVID-19 was ruled a global pandemic in March 2020, we were in for some very hot, dare I say boiling, water. And as a result, a lot of people jumped from the pot fast. We saw how in the coming months:
Commercials and businesses released statements of compassion and motivation for getting through these difficult times
Insurance companies lowered rates or completely waived fees for virtual therapy
Employers and teachers had more understanding with due dates and assignment flexibility
Many tenants were able to freeze their rent prices and had more time to pay their monthly living expenses
Friends and family scheduled virtual happy hours and zoom calls to catch up more than they had in years
In more ways than one, we saw people coming together and caring for each other like never before. But let’s think about before the pandemic and most likely in the future post-pandemic world, when society’s underlying issues are in, say, luke-warm pots of water. Did we see and will we see the same level of problem-solving as we have in the past year? That’s where I’m not entirely sure.
Since When Did Empathy Require A Global Pandemic?
In conversations with friends and in personal reflections, I found myself asking the question: why did it take a pandemic, or ‘these unprecedented' times’, for people to have empathy for each other’s stories and circumstances? Why did it take millions of people losing their jobs, loved ones, mental health stability, and financial security for people to have a shred of empathy for what their neighbors are going through? Why did we need boiling water in the first place?
COVID-19 didn’t just magically cast its spell on America and conjure up problems out of thin air. It didn’t begin the issues of housing insecurity, unemployment, mental health crises, and racial injustices that we’re seeing amplified across the nation. What I will say is that it sure did fuel the fire with intensity and gusto, and swept up millions of people that wouldn’t have otherwise been affected by such problems. It took the paint that was already cracked and peeling and completely scraped it away from its primer.
4 Ways To Shift The Tone Of A ‘Precedented’ America
But why was the paint cracked and peeling from the start? We can easily blame the parable of the boiling frog, the dark side of human nature, or even our politicians, employers, and leaders for not caring enough. But in reality, I believe that our individual choices, though sometimes tiny and seemingly insignificant, can have a say in shifting the paradigm.
While I don’t prescribe to the belief that it is our sole responsibility to bear the burden of society’s issues, I do believe that the more people that have empathy and care, the more people granted to positions of power will care too. I have hope that the values that were heightened from the pandemic will shift into the workings of our post-pandemic society, but only if we put in the hard work. And with that, here are 4 of the many ideas that I hope to continue into ‘precedented’ America:
#1: Implement Gratitude Practices And Avoid Toxic Positivity
Times in life can be both the best and the worst. You can feel both entirely happy and entirely sad in the same stage or period of life. Life itself is full of dichotomies, and you can honor and recognize both sides of every emotion you are feeling. Some days you might feel like a complete badass, and others you might feel crippled with anxiety. Or maybe a combination of the two. Both can hold space in your life simultaneously.
There is always going to be someone worse off than you and better off than you, COVID-19 or not. There is always a balance between having gratitude for the incredible joys and privileges of your life, while also validating your experiences and not feeling guilty for having negative emotions. There was more space given for both of these practices throughout the pandemic, and I am actively trying to continue them beyond it.
#2: Remember That Access To Public Health Is A Human Right
It should not have taken the high stakes of catching a potentially deadly virus to warrant the need for strong public health initiatives. Whether it’s mental, physical, environmental, or global health, access to health resources and tools is not a luxury: it is an inherent human right. The work in the medical and public health fields was relatively ignored by the masses until this global pandemic, and we cannot let them slip back into the cracks when this is over.
#3: Listen To Other People’s Experiences
In conjunction with COVID-19, and partially fueled by it, we’ve witnessed horrible acts of violence and hatred. From white supremacy groups storming the capital with antisemitism and racist rhetoric, to the rise in anti-Asian hate crimes, to the unjust death of George Floyd and other Black Americans, it is evident that there are still so many changes to be made. It is essential to listen to other people’s experiences, give space for the experiences of marginalized groups, and do the work to educate ourselves on how to be better allies and advocates much after the pandemic subsides. Keep reading, listening to educational podcasts, voting, donating, and learning, no matter the state of the world.
#4: Prioritize Self-Care, It Is Paramount To Wellbeing
Before the pandemic, romanticizing the grind, hustle culture, and working well over 40 hours a week was all too prevalent and applauded by our culture. I want to continue the belief well after quarantine and remote work ends that we are so much more than our productivity, the amount of money we make, and the number of hours we clock into the office. Give yourself more time to read, puzzle, make sourdough bread, and watch Tiger King. This is not just a pandemic thing, it should be a normal life thing too.
The Takeaway
With all of these ideas in mind, I want to challenge the idea that returning back to normal, or the status quo, is enough for a happier post-pandemic society. As both a collective whole and as individuals, we must do better. We must be better than what we were before the pandemic. We must not succumb to the parable of the boiling frog.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking, maybe it’s optimism, but I believe that we have the power to shift the compass in the right direction more than we give ourselves credit to.